Tag Archive | turning 50

It Was My Party

Or Why Turning 50 was a Big Deal to Me

Some people have asked, “Why celebrate turning 50? Its not that old anymore.”

My answer, “The last decade of my life”

In 2004 between the months of January and June I was in the hospital five times and each time doctors were giving little hope I’d live. God spared me. 

January 2005 I’m back again and I’ve spent a week at least in a hospital every year but three since then. Every time God sparing me in ways only He could arrange. Even blood clots that should have killed me passing through my heart didn’t and while modern medicine couldn’t explain it, I could. G-O-D.

Even when the choice was my leg or my life next time there was a blood clot or a raging infection, and there would always be a next time. God worked in His way and His time.

I am well aware I have been living the last ten years on “borrowed” time. Seldom does a day pass I don’t remember. Now, at 50 another truth emerges in my mind, my mother died from a blood clot to her heart at the age of 54. Never has 54 seemed so young as it does now.

Do I think I am dying? No more than you.

Life is fragile, the veil between this life and eternity is thin and easily torn. Yet, I admit God has held that line for me numerous times already. But I have no inside track on knowing my appointed day and time, no more than you.   My life is no more valuable than anyone else’s. 

Personally I think we should celebrate more often. Celebrate this life, even with it’s flaws. Celebrate our families even with our grumpy, scary and no-one-can stand them relatives.

Celebrate our smallest victories while learning from every defeat. Celebrate strange diseases that rob our bodies of good health but not our souls of eternity. Celebrate turning 50 and just beginning to understand God isn’t finished with me quite yet.

So, yes this year, I wanted a party. I needed the opportunity to say “thank you”. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving my family. Thank you for repairing our old place, helping us move into a new one and all your sweat equity you’ve poured into us.

Thank you for caring for our daughter so Chris could care for me. Thank you for your cards reminding me you were praying. Thank you, thank you for your prayers.

Thank you for strawberry cheesecake when I had no appetite. Thank you for weeks of meals while I recovered.

Thank you for seeing someone in me I seldom see in myself… a woman of strength, courage, resiliency, peace, talent…most of all Jesus. For really He is the hero of the last 50 years of my life.

All the good you attribute to me is Him. For that I am most grateful.

Thanks for coming to my party, into my life, hanging in and hanging on.

Tomorrow I am 50 years and 1 day old, I think I will celebrate.

Cottage by the Sea @ 50

Jehovah God,
Today Lord I am 50 years, 9 months in the making.
50 years ago my mother’s body yielded one wailing daughter
Me…my beginning as a child
Her’s as a mother
Along the way I chose the road I’m taking.

We celebrated the big 5-0 on Sunday and it was good
Today I come here to reflect
Staring out over sea meeting land
Smelling the salt air fill my lungs
The sea wash sandcastles away where they stood.

Time is like this picture perfect sea before me
Washing in, pulling out waves crashing in
Waves turning out
Treasures given up by the depths
If one has patience to walk, wade and see.

I’m this shoreline today as I turn 50
Familiar yet see still fighting
Scattered with the sea’s bounty on shore
How is it I don’t mind the number
As much as I imagined I’d fear 50?

Thank You for the nine months You spent knitting me together,
The 50 years you continue shaping me
Your understanding and compassion
Your tools of gentle correction
This 50 year’s will be with us forever.
                    d.f.a.v. 3/13
–Grateful at 50,

My Favorite Things Now Obsolete


Price tags on the products in the grocery
Handritten letters with stamps for history
Toys fueled by imagination not batteries
There was no shame if you worked in the factories.

Saturday cartoons that were truly funny
Ten bucks an hour meant you made some money
Library days spent searching the stacks
Sun warmed tomatoes off vines for snacks.

Fireflies in Mason jars for summer night lights
Believing the world would turn out alright
Barbie’s bed was my book and in my world she was singing
Conversations got held face-to-face not by texting.

When the clock strikes
And I’m fifty
I won’t be so blue
Until I remember my favorite things
Are all obsolete!

Newspapers delivered fresh every morning
Parents understood what their kids were learning
A book was a friend I held in my hands
A portal to new people, places and lands.

Everything wasn’t blamed on global warming
Cautions on medication didn’t read like deadly warnings
A man was a man a woman a woman
Solving our problems meant first do what you can.

Sears and Penny’s were the places to shop
No one in the Deep South drank soda pop
We used sugar and real butter for baking
The best gifts to give were the ones you spent making.

When the clock strikes
And I’m fifty
I won’t be so blue
Until I remember my favorite things
Are now all obsolete.
d.f.a.v. 3-11-14