Do you ever fight the question,
Find you want to but don’t say
Public or private situation
Extraordinary events or every day
The question tips upon your tongue
Your teeth clamped prevent release
As if thinking leaves you so stung
Your heart can know no peace?
Do you hold to faith with trembling hands
To think it, ask it seem a doubt?
Or does asking seem a demand
An admission what you’re scared about?
Denying the desire helps who how?
Do I think Jesus does not know?
The question burns, it leaps, it bows
The aching only grows and grows?
Why do we think to ask this
Is disrespectful, wrong, a sin?
Does silence buy a pass, dismiss
To the truth stuffed deep within?
O Jesus if I am stumbling as if blind
It is true for in faith perhaps I am!
To deny reality is so, so unkind
Denying a blow felt like a slam.
So I ask.
Not why me Lord not him, them or her?
Or why Father get me out of this!
Nor do You want me so disturbed
You strike me into nothingness?
But do I suffer for only pains sake?
Why, what glory will You receive
If every good Satan from me takes?
Do I require this to believe?
Why does the pain go so deep?
Why does it never seem to end?
Why does agony haunt even my sleep?
Why do these wounds never mend?