Tag Archive | death

They Tell Me


They tell me that I’m going to die.
These professionals who have no need to lie.
They’ve gone back ten years or more,
Searching for the key to unlock the door,
And this, this is what they find,
I should have already left this world behind.

You know, what’s a person supposed to say?
One day there’s pain, then the path turns this way?
I’ve set my heart for eternity years ago,
Not afraid now of where I’ll go.
Jesus and I have spoken many a time,
I know through Him Heaven is mine.

No one can say when or about how long.
No one can prepare me for the swans final song.
Left here in limbo not feeling like I’m dying,
Knowing, just knowing I’ve got to keep trying.
Not a day goes by I can’t pray for good health,
Not a night goes by I’m not grateful for my hearts wealth.

They tell me that I’m dying, should already be gone.
But could the Lord be set against hurrying me on?
I have trouble forgetting that they could be wrong,
Only God knows if the days are short or long.
Lord, help me remember in the darkest of hours,
You hold life threads, only You hold that power.

The dock beneath my feet may be,
But the boat for crossing I don’t yet see.
The day is sunny, no storm’s clouds rising in the sky,
But all of that can change for the by and by.
I’ll try not to deny God is my way to cope,
He is always my way and my hope.
                d.f.a.v. 6/9/15

We’re Born, We Die

We are all born.
Coming into this world,
One night or,
One day.

God knows us,
In our mother’s womb.
Knit together…
Knitted well…
Woven into,
God’s plan.

If born we live,
Our hearts beat.
Lungs breathe…
We feel…
How long,
Not our design.

We all die,
Slipping from here.
In many ways…
Different times…
Once born, once die,

We’re all told,
Truth illuminates,
The choice…
Ours alone…
Heaven or hell?
Which will it be?
          d.f.a.v.  4/7/15

Prayer from the Cottage by the Sea 5:00 a.m.


Abba Father:
We stand in need of prayer Lord
Come by here today
Touch us with Your presence
Guide us in Your way.

A woman’s womb is empty
Where a baby began to grow
Nature righting something
Just what we do not know.

Yet her pain is in her heart Lord
Where the emptiness echoes
Heal her heart, mind and spirit
And physically as You know.

A man struggles with his lifestyle
Could he have been wrong
Was the different road he traveled
The unwise one all along?

He wrestles with his conscience
He ponders what was, is, could be
I think he’s tired of running
What is the truth he sees?

In a hospital in Tennessee
A surgery has gone bad
Now a young man slips away
His sobbing wife so sad.

His brain is dead say doctors
Let him go in dignity
But their time was so short
The months add just to three.

A country was at war within
Not even a week ago
Now peace is fragile
Is it just for “show”?

The people there are weary
Trust is shattered in the street
Who will prove to be the leader
Will it be You they seek?

Come by here Lord
We are in need of You
Come by here Lord
Guide us in what to do.

We stand in need of prayer Lord
Come by here and stay
Come by here Lord
Come by here today.
d.f.a.v. 2-27-2014



Screaming into her cell phone 24-year-old Alia* stared in disgust at the 18-month-old baby boy before her. So what if he was a cutie? He’d been the millstone around her neck her mother had warned her about for years.

Looking at Caleb’s big blue eyes and white blonde hair made her even madder. Before this kid came between them Alia had believed the baby could be the answer to her situation with Jason.

“This is your stupid fault Jason! You went and found Jesus and changed everything!”

On his end of the conversation he tried, again, to explain how once he accepted Christ as his Savior he couldn’t keep having sex with her. He was doing everything he could to be a good father and to provide for Caleb and her.

“But you won’t marry me will you Mr. Holy Roly? I hate your God!” Alia screamed.

Calmly Jason tried to explain to her that her hostility towards him and God didn’t make good foundations for a marriage. Alia didn’t hear.

Seething over how obvious it was that Jason adored their son and God more than her, she let a primitive scream wail into the phone. “I hate you! I hate your God! I hate your precious son too! I should have had an abortion!”

As Jason’s reasonable voice coaxed her to calm down she exploded. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I am not letting some snotty rich people adopt this brat after you forced me to have it! You ruined everything Jason!”

Snatching the baby up, she hurried to her car barely pausing to buckle the boy in a seat. The empty car seat was a looming presence in her rearview mirror as she raced out onto the highway.

Caleb’s crying, Jason’s pleading and rage built up inside Alia making a canopy of noise in her head. The phone was still in her hand and she screamed into it, “Tell me you love me more than Caleb! Tell me!”

Leaving no time for Jason to answer she neared the roads curve. “You’ll have to choose soon” she said.

Her foot left the gas pedal, but she didn’t apply the brakes. With the SUV pointing toward the ravine she gribbed her cell phone and closed her eyes. First the vehicle was a cocoon of plastic, leather and metal encasing them as it became airborne.

Trees stood in the path of the sailing vehicle, large branches snatching the undercarriage, ripping at the tires. The interference was enough to flip the SUV. As the vehicle flipped the windows shattered, deployed airbags cushioning Alia but Caleb shrieked in fear as he was thrown around the vehicle.

Over and over the vehicle turned. Alia clung to her cell phone and Jason was hysterical on the other end as he heard the noise. Four minutes after the SUV left the road it crumbled to a stop, upside down. Alia crawled through the window, her head bleeding from a slight scratch and her wrist aching.

Sitting down on a near-by boulder she stuck her cell phone in her hip pocket. Jason had insisted on On-Star service with the truck so help would arrive soon. “How long will it take them,” she asked out loud?

Within minutes she heard sirens and when she heard the first squeal of brakes she lay herself out near the boulder, waiting for the rescue people to reach her. As she saw the deputy coming down the rocky ravine she remembered her cell phone and managed to push it just out of easy arm’s reach before he reached her.

Soon firemen, police officers and paramedics swarmed the scene. Already the rescue personnel were exchanging looks and quietly pointing out what caught their experienced eyes as wrong. Alia watched through slotted eyes but her inexperienced eyes didn’t see the clues theirs did. Nor did she see the clues A’s they were marked and evidence was collected.

The first deputy on the scene found her cell phone and she heard him call Jason who was listed in her contacts as her I.C.E. number.

It wasn’t long before Alia knew Jason was at the scene. A brief silence fell when the deputy escorted him down the ravine. Alia heard his voice asking about her and Caleb.

Moaning, she made her voice weak as she asked for Jason. Then came a howl of grief so large it seemed to pass through her telling her all she needed to know. Now Jason would love her and only her.

The Lifesaver Helicopter’s approach could be heard as firemen and paramedics carried Alia up the steep ravine strapped to a backboard. Tugging on one of the paramedic’s sleeves she asked if Jason could ride with her.

“I’ll ask m’am.” But she returned with a negative reply.

Alia held her thoughts to herself. Jason would come to her soon enough, she assured herself.

As they loaded her into the helicopter she closed her eyes, “How simple a solution,” she thought.

The paramedics jumped out of Lifesaver and joined the other rescue workers a safe distance from the helicopter’s blades as they started up. Everyone looked at the disappearing chopper then gradually at one another.

Jason was being helped to the top of the ravine where his father waited. He was bent over in pain as he stumbled towards his dad.

Then all eyes followed his, as from the road, he pointed to where the Winnie-the-Pooh blanket covered the lifeless body of his son.

The son Alia had never once asked about.

Though based on the bare facts of a true story names and identifying details have been changed or altered to protect the privacy of the grieving.

Please, if you or your partner are hurting your child or considering harming them in any way seek help. Many states allow you to turn your child over to a hospital or other such facility with no questions or punishment involved. Help is available if you seek it out. Adoption may or may not be the right solution for you, but, harming your child IS NEVER THE RIGHT ANSWER.




The notice arrived electronically
The one she’d been looking to arrive
She drew in her breath and prayed
Gratitude for being alive.
She was now among the selected
The day of appointment soon came
They explained everything matter-of-fact
All the reasons attributed to her name.
Bottom line there was no reason
For efforts to keep her alive
No doctor’s, hospitals or medicine
No efforts to help her survive.
Her choice was in how her life ended
Would she like assistance or go on alone?
Were her arrangements all in order
Did her family want her at home?
She’d expected this conversation
Known it was going to be
Still there were those who didn’t believe
This happening they couldn’t see.
Not in America they scoffed
Only for the worst of worst cases maybe
But never just because one was disabled
Over reaction they smiled sympathy.
But now she was selected
Would that help them see they were wrong?
Or would it take them being
Told they needed to be gone?
For sitting in a bubble of denial
Being blinded by special reprieves
Is no excuse for willingly allowing
To be made to die with dignity.
               d.f.a.v. 8/23/13

I realize this poem can be uncomfortable to read, the subject matter easier to dismiss than accept, but it is reality.  Either Americans step up now or these famous words of Martin Niemoller, a personal prisoner of Adolf Hitler during WWII will be words for us:

“First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out–
because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out–
because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out–
because I was not a Jew.
And then they came for me–
and there was no one to speak for me.”

Please consider the consequences of where we are headed, I speak for one of those sure to be” selected”,