Woke today and knew pretend had to be over, No more escapes into my imagination, No more useless wishes of rescue Regardless of its orientation, This escape hatch has to firmly close. Lord, yes, the Lord Himself knows the truth, He could choose to return the woman in me, He could restore all the bits and pieces, Yet He has said, "No," and let me be And I watch leftover memories flow away. Still stumbled through my day tripping over His call, My wheels stuck between disobedience and right, My wheels losing traction getting to the altar Then I could no more delay or fight, Today I have to banish you walking away in my mind. There are many tears I cannot yet cry Losses I cannot begin to understand But the innocent are safe and protected, No innocent blood shed by or on my hands, Love unspoken, deeds undone, freedom gained by incarceration. ----dfav 1/8/2021
Forgive me Lord, For these thoughts are disobedient, They are not in line with Your word Not in sync with who You are. They dance in my head Fueled by basic human desires By all I don't have and think I need, Because I've been Longing for that which is not mine, Craving things, circumstances not mine. Free me Lord, For these thoughts are bonds of evil, Links of a chain bred in disobedence Forged with guilt and callousness. Thick, heavy, steel links, Welded together in willful thoughts, Because reality is hard to face, Pride is hard to swallow. Longing for pictures evil painted in my head, Craving tastes, circumstances rottening in my head. Wash me Lord, In the rivers of Your grace, Flowing from the fount of Your everlasting redemption. Shine Your light to bleach shame away, Remind me of Your truth I see the ugliness of my heart in Your word Because I chose disobedience. Longing to live in Your love as Your daughter, Craving home, circumstances mine as Your daughter. --dfav 1/3/2021
When I promised You I would serve You forever,
I believed I knew rejection for various reasons.
But, what I knew was nothing, I was so naive,
It is still so hard to conceive,
I was that inexperienced.
When I stumbled along life’s path,
Eager to live the Prodigal lifestyle,
Living for happiness…
It’s clear I didn’t understand eternity in the moment,
Or the reality of the consequences forever spent,
From careless choices.
When politics seemed far removed from me,
I sold my vote for a saxophone song,
A segment on…
Late night talk shows gave way, I would come to see,
The price of being free,
As fodder for entertainment
When maintaining the status quo over rode
The principles of Your instructions, Lord,
The world took over so even basic morality so rapidly,
Smearing true goodness so overwhelmingly,
It’s hard to even see the evidence.
If chance should, indeed arrive again,
For our nation to unite under Your wing,
May I and oh, so many, many more
Approach You at Heaven’s door,
To get us right with You again.
I’ve been trying to avoid You,
And yes, because I’m angry.
I don’t want to sit in this place,
Stare at that room,
Because You’re going to say,
“Open it to me.”
As You watch my face.
But, I’m angry, Father!
Angry about ISIS and terrorism,
Arsonists, murderers and pimps.
Abusers, cons, and paedophiles,
People who do evil stuff to children,
Every step that led me here,
Trapped for ceaseless miles,
In a situation I didn’t create,
But pay for DAILY!
I’m angry about the cost of living,
And barely squeaking by,
Moody teenagers full of defiance,
No rice or beans or fresh anything.
Mostly I’m mad because sometimes
There’s no alliance to rebuild with.
Only echoes of silence.
I’m angry and I’ll call you.
I’m angry because I’m dying,
And the situation is so unfair,
I’m angry at the pain,
That never goes away,
I’m angry at being left out,
Like a drowning rat in rain,
I’m angry, no God, I’m furious.
Does me no better to say it.
If one more person tells me,
How brave I am or encouraging,
I fear I’ll scream, “Back off, I’m mad!”
Hurting someone’s feelings,
Who’s only trying to help me,
Right now we can say I’m sad,
But we know I have to let it go,
But, for now, I am angry, Father.
It was my goal.
My deepest wish.
I believe that I believed,
Like Jesus friends lowered,
Him through the roof top,
If friends and family got me,
Back to the midst of where Jesus,
And His people gathered,
The world would right itself again.
Then like an ocean wave,
Sweeps you off your feet.
You’re sputtering and determined,
Then God You’ve knocked,
The truth right over me,
Said no to me repeatedly,
Truth sat me down respectively,
Though a right thing to have asked,
It wasn’t Your plan for me.
We can pray for a right thing,
Honest reward, someone’s suffering to end,
Mobility to go to His House of Worship,
Healing of a broken hip.
None of these are bad things,
Many such have but joy to bring,
But only if they’re within God’s will.
It’s in God’s will that all be saved,
That know one choose to turn Him away,
But if others can read Jesus in me.
Abba Father may it be what they see.
The same faith that rejoices at God’s yes,
Shelters with You through the storm,
Stands sturdier after adversity,
Whose Belief in God grows in calamity.
Donna. dfav 5/2/16
Satan had me bound,
By chains I couldn’t see,
God’s love made them visible,
And He rescued me.
Rising from the irons,
I knew salvation free,
Thought life perfect now,
Discounted my humanity.
After a while I learned,
Sins chains still threatened me,
They could restrain me falsely,
Without the Holy Trinity.
Throughout each day,
God must help me be,
A sinner saved by grace,
That He has forever freed.
Wash me whiter than the purest snow,
Refine me purer than the finest gold,
Draw me closer than anyone before,
Until I’m knocking on Heaven’s door.
Be my strength to wait until You’re ready,
Meanwhile keep my course straight and steady.
‘Til that day pierside I humbly dock,
Time determined by Your Heavenly clock.
Invited in I fall face down before Your throne,
See in Your eyes me as You’ve known.
Grant me now Your peace again,
That this meeting comes not by my hand.
Praise You I do and praise You I must,
Or all my life becomes mere dirt and rust.
‘Tis Satan’s lie that death I should make come,
But the Father of Lies forgets their are some,
Who know we’re sealed as Your own,
Our prayers answered by You alone,
I’ll leave this life as You do call,
Let me for Satan’s traps not to fall.
Grain by grain,
Ash by ash,
Each desert dry breeze distributes,
The parched and,
Arid burned molecule,
Of my heart.
Moan by moan,
Groan by groan,
Each sound translated by Christ,
My Father hears,
With Holy heart.
Mist dances in,
Dew drapes down,
Each droplet reviving soul,
Every part returns,
Within my heart.
Each blessing will rehydrate,
What neglect and,
Despair with comparison,
Stole from my heart.
The spring shower falls down,
God is alive,
His love deeply,
In my heart.
I wanted to send You a letter.
Some may call this a prayer,
And that’s okay,
Its the content, not the title.
First, thanks because I see better.
Visibility improved so quick its rare.
At the break of day,
I must say,
Thank You for the things I take for granted.
Second, there’s You and Your gift at Calvary,
It floods my life with grace,
Seeps through cracks,
Front and back,
Continuous and flowing.
Second, my husband, all he is and his bravery,
Love for You and us on his face,
Intertwined and strong,
That can’t be wrong,
For it too is overwhelming.
Third, our heart and our joy,
Our daughter, half child, half grown,
Each time she says Mama or Dad,
Cause for joy, not sad,
Even when our patience is tried.
Fourth, we’re among the free, not toys,
We’ve accepted we’re not pawns.
You’ve been patient so long,
We hear the sweetest song,
To it our life and hearts are tied.
Fifth, for our homes, what was and is,
Our meals, someone prepared them,
Clean water to drink and bathe,
More though, to us time You gave,
All the little stuff I take for granted.
Sixth, last but not in priority is the ease,
With which You blessed my day,
For this morning I woke,
To hear what You’ve spoke,
And counted my blessings again.