If I could just look at this view all day, Not seeing the ugly scenes, The nasty means used to get what people want, If I could unhear the growling throated howls, Or the innocent souls crying out to You, The blood thirsty ones seeking revenge, Could my soul believe what I say? Here, in this cottage, just You and me, I can keep my eyes upon You, Finally I can lay face down before Your throne, Seeking Your will and reading Your Word, Your angels have covered us, My heart wants and seeks Your peace, Here with You in our Cottage-by-the-Sea. The world though lays beyond this lot, The Earth is where I live each day, It's been growing darker and darker, Regardless of how much sunlight shines, How good our intentions are, How bright the moon and stars, How beautiful the fruit inside is rot. Let me pick up my cross and follow You, May I see the cost and pay it willingly, For You paid all our redemption bounties, And sharing that with others Should be my deepest heartfelt pleasure, Here I've come to draw upon Your strength I come here to find mercy like morning dew. Yes, some places on Earth are like this view, Where winds race fresh and salty, Sunlight creates the golden paths, Diamonds on the sea waves twinkle, The sky is clear and cool the breeze, The shore is clean with golden sand, I'm grateful for this as I come to You. Help me face the truth regardless, Help me stay true to Your Word and Will, Keep my feet on Your pathways, For Jesus only You are the Way, the Truth And only You are also the Light, Guide me here by Your Holy Spirit, Forgive us all for this world's mess. ----dfav 10/19/2020
It boiled out of me like an erupting volcano,
Massive rivers of red-hot painful memories,
Black-as-midnight acts of discrimination,
Spewing it’s poison from mountain to sea.
Then it was over, at least the worse of it.
The path of the destruction stretched across my heart,
Boring a scorching swatch through my prayer house,
Erasing landmarks beneath it’s horrid weight,
I felt as if it were the elephant on top of me the mouse,
So heavy the load of my anger.
Then I felt instead of heat, the sea breezes coolness blow,
Tasted salt upon the air drawn deep into my lungs,
The firm, solid foundation of the place we’ve built here,
And within my soul the phrase blooms across my tongue,
“Thank You Lord for grace.”
No, things aren’t easy and everything is tough,
But, not once have You failed me even if I let You down,
Even when I erupt in anger and frustration,
You keep smiling at me though I give You reason to frown,
Giving me mercy new every day.
Together we can repair the damage and mend the walls,
For the foundation it was built upon is The Cornerstone,
The solid rock of Jesus Christ and His salvation,
Backed by the Father God upon Heaven’s throne,
And the movement of the Holy Spirit.
Praise God, I do not stand alone.
Nothing I can do will prevent it from coming.
It has a path and an energy all its own
So I draw in and closer to You by praying,
Whatever the storm brings You will be there.
Let the winds howl with screeching suction,
Let the sand blast as if alive on it’s own,
Let the waves crest with their destruction,
You are here with me through it all.
Help me be through with “what used to be”,
So the past will be over and then free my heart.
Lord, it will belong only to You to mend,
Make every crack and chip a work of Your art.
Walk with me through the Valley of What Should Have Been,
Free me of the shackles of ego and pride,
Then show me who I am through You,
A daughter loved at her Father’s side.
Drain me of the wasted energy expelled,
Fighting to be vindicated after treated wrong.
Weave in my being Your perfect peace,
From my soul let me sing You a true love song.
Open Your presence and allow me in,
Please lift me up to come to You.
Renew in me the joy of being Your child,
Allowing me to worship and love You.
In God’s silence
I hold my breath.
Is He angry?
Will He punish me?
What will He do?
In God’s silence
Other voices overwhelm me.
You’re not enough.
You never will be.
He’s taking it all.
In God’s silence
Is He somehow speaking?
Can I hear?
Do I dare?
Does He still care?
Is this rare?
Or does everyone feel
That God waits
To devour them?
In God’s silence
I cower and wait.
Yesterday Lord, the place was crowded.
People everywhere promising so much,
With expectations and dreams so bright,
It all seemed so possible in the bright light.
This morning Lord, the crowd has thinned.
Some have left afraid of the possible pain,
For the route to success is no longer in sight,
The support they all promised took flight.
It’s you and me in this ongoing struggle,
Yesterday, today and tomorrow I know,
Regardless Lord of what I can see,
You are always right beside me.
Can’t base my walk with You, Lord,
On other people’s interpretations,
May this life with You be between You and I,
Help me live by Your will until the sweet by and by.
The rain is coming down outside,
While the winds blow to and fro.
Inside this house inside this heart,
My heart struggles with what it knows.
Of God’s greatness there’s no debate,
His love for man is well known.
Then though I know those two facts,
What weeds of doubt have grown?
When life is good and safety is felt,
It’s easy to cling to His path.
But harder when the path is troubled
And your soul longs for a cooling bath.
Rain down Your understanding, Lord!
Flood me with Your merciful insight.
Wash away my human inconsistency,
Leave behind only Your pure perfect light.
You gave flesh, blood and life
To bones dry beyond death and skin.
You parted the Red Sea for the Israelites,
Saved Daniel in the Lion’s Den.
You caused a bush to burn
But never turn to soot and ash.
Told Noah to build an ark
Then guided it so it didn’t crash.
Your Son, Jesus was born of a virgin,
Became the way of Salvation for men.
Called Peter, John, Thomas and Paul,
Taught us to pray and say “Amen”.
Our history is filled with Your wonder,
Our hearts truly fill with You here,
So why Precious Lord have You turned,
Your face from me over there?
I’ve searched for You haven’t I?
Sought You to fill my aching heart?
Why do You remain so silent?
What here is the missing part?
You are listening I know for certain,
You will answer when Your time decrees.
Meanwhile, I will remain ever faithful,
Waiting my God, the Holy Trinity.
The very air is stale,
As if no fresh air has blown for weeks.
The memory of abundance is pale
Amongst the weight of needs.
It’s not that I’ve forgotten,
What walking close to You is like,
The sweetest mountain tops have been
Lasting monuments in my heartscape.
Only the assurance of Your presence
Feels further away each single day.
I refuse to put up some pretense,
When truth is I’m really hurting.
I will not forsake the journey,
I will not neglect to feel You out,
Though You may hide from me,
I will continue to repent and seek.
Draw me closer to You, Sweet Master,
Make clean my muddied heart,
Hear my prayer, reunite us faster,
Work Your way in me again today.
Following You, Father God, shouldn’t be so hard.
I love You and I want to please You.
I want You to respect me.
I want You to be able to depend on me.
I want to make You proud to have me as Your daughter.
Sadly, living seems to catch my heart off-guard.
Bad news arrives on the worst day.
Temptations confront me at my weakest moment.
Something major breaks in opportunely.
Chance alters everything including the plan.
Suddenly what felt like firm ground seconds ago,
Turns into quick sand in an instant.
Shakes beneath my feet.
Drains of all life giving nutrients.
Opens up and swallows me whole.
All I know for sure is I know what I know.
You’re the Alpha and Omega, now and then.
You sent Jesus to die for my sins.
You rose Him from the grave after three days.
You, and You alone are truly victorious.
Please let this be a start.