Woke today and knew pretend had to be over,
No more escapes into my imagination,
No more useless wishes of rescue
Regardless of its orientation,
This escape hatch has to firmly close.

Lord, yes, the Lord Himself knows the truth,
He could choose to return the woman in me,
He could restore all the bits and pieces,
Yet He has said, "No," and let me be
And I watch leftover memories flow away.

Still stumbled through my day tripping over His call,
My wheels stuck between disobedience and right,
My wheels losing traction getting to the altar
Then I could no more delay or fight,
Today I have to banish you walking away in my mind.

There are many tears I cannot yet cry
Losses I cannot begin to understand
But the innocent are safe and protected,
No innocent blood shed by or on my hands,
Love unspoken, deeds undone, freedom gained by incarceration.

----dfav
1/8/2021