Threw a Temper Tantrum with God Today

Threw a temper tantrum with God today.
Not, that I’m proud of my behavior,
Or can I in any way justify it.
Nor imagine it culls me any favors.

Besides, where was my head at?
Much less where was my heart?
Once I finished throwing the pillows,
I felt guilt for the mismanaged part.

Life is often messy and confounded,
Extremely rare that it is even fair,
I was forewarned the storm brewed,
Denied my anger but I got trapped in its lair.

Then onto an ever increasing prayer list,
I added broken AC, Algebra, additional medical bills,
A diabetic husband not eating to “save money”,
And how is God sovereign with much of the world evil?

Plus, it’s the fifteenth anniversary of US terrorist attacks,
While people  remember this day September 11, 2001,
I just blew up and showed out,
Like a wayward child or moody teen.

When I finished it was silent and expectant.
“I apologize, Lord, for the anger, aimed at You.”
We talked it out and I have the impression,
The lesson was watch what it is you do.

I was reminded of overturned tables,
When God’s House was being misused,
Jesus flipped them over and drove merchants out.
Copying Him leaves me nothing to lose.

God is God enough for my anger even aimed at Him,
He created me with the capacity to feel all emotions,
And the ability to learn to harness them,
So I don’t have a lot of explosions.

Threw a temper tantrum with God today.
Not, that I’m proud of my behavior,
Or can I in any way justify it.
Nor imagine it culls me any favors.

But, I was honest in my raw emotions,
Equally as honest with Him as you now.
The world may be seemingly led by evil,
Yet God hangs in even when we give up our power.
                    dfav 9/11/16

—Donna

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