It is a surprise,
This question asked me.
By God of all people,
He whispers the question
From the depths of my heart.
“Daughter, are you happy? ”
It is not my thought,
This unbelievable query.
By what standard?
He should know the answer,
From the shocks afterwards,
“God? How does one know?”
Then I read about glorious adventure,
Striving to stop living safe.
How clinging to old ways
The illusion of predictability
The thought I have control
When God calls me to break free
Discover adventures He has for me.
Then I think my adventures are over.
Striving for simple day-to-day existence.
How can I have adventures or happiness?
The road is long and heavy the load.
When He reminds me how wide and long and to
Discover how deep and high is His love.
“Daughter, I do not call you
To a life of settling and mediocrity
Because it feels like a security.
While you battle the fear and it’s hold
You shield yourself from what you crave,
From perfect love casting out fear
From what you need most — Me.”
“Daughter, what do you say?”
To my Father I admit confusion.
Because I feel so dependent on Him.
While I’ve been struggling have I failed?
You mean I withhold some of me?
From absolute surrender, one hundred precent?
From joy, from happiness, from adventure?
And I am reminded all He plans for me
Is for my good and His glory.
What He asks me now is it not truth?
Have I not asked Him to intervene
To lessen the pain and darkness?
Can this answer be all I need?
Total surrender to Him who loves me unconditionally?
And I feel a jolt of awareness.
Is that a flame igniting in my soul?
What have I to lose now?
Have I looked longingly through the window
To a life I have prevented myself
Can I seek more of Him?
Totally. Absolutely. Watch me.