My Prayer – Jehovah Rapha

Jehovah Rapha, the God who Heals, I prostrate myself before You.  Please hear this prayer I plea.

When the doctors told me that the repeated, ever increasing in severity, infections would end my life quickly, I sought You.  I stood on faith and I agreed to let them amputate my leg.  It was no guarantee but it was the best option.  I am still here.  I never knew such dark days existed but Your strength sustained me.  By Your grace I returned to work.

Then another blood clot and my employer didn’t think I could do my job anymore.  So I sought You and You paved the way to disability.  The days were dark and bitter to taste but I was still here.  You lifted me out of that despair and revived in me old dreams that I had given up for sensible ones.  Your hand sustained me.

Now Lord, it has been six months of weeping amputation and leg.  Six months of busting nodules.  Six months of blood and water.  Six months of being swollen and sore and constant pain.  Six months and exhaustion claims me.  Six months of torment. Six months of decline. Oh these days are dark.  Oh so, so dark. And bitter. Oh, so, so bitter. And cold. Oh, so, so cold.

There is no job to fight for…
There is no purpose for me anymore…
I burden my family and our church…
I have no face-to-face friends…
And Lord I am weary…so weary…

But I have one hope.  I have You.

Lord, I don’t want pity or charity.  I want to be the mom my child needs.  The wife my husband deserves.  I want to cook, plant and harvest.  I want to write.

I ask Jehovah Rapha for healing.  For lymph nodes to open and allow fluid to escape.  My blood to be strengthen.  My body to heal.  Let me touch the hem of Your garment for I BELIEVE, I HAVE FAITH.

The hardest part of this prayer is to also sincerely pray for YOUR WILL not mine.  Whatever Your reply, You will not forsake me.

Less of me, more of You.


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