Archive | May 2014

I Am

Reposted from 1-10-2014. All rights reserved. Based upon Exodus 3:14.
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The names for God seem endless

His characteristics much the same

But when Moses asked God who shall

I say sends me

God spoke a two word, three letter name –

I AM.

In this name is infinity eternal

A name of being and of once was

A name of strength of conviction

Name that is Him and all He does –

I AM.

God called Himself “I Have Been”

Since a point whose beginning is not known

There at the start and even before

Way before creation began to grow –

I AM.

I HAVE BEEN.

God called Himself “I Will Be”

No end no lapse no stop no pause

Never ending He is who He is

Always now always tomorrow because

I AM.

I HAVE BEEN.

I WILL BE.

    d.f.a.v. 1/10/2014

Praise God for “I Am”!

–Donna

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Sometimes, Without Meaning To

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Sometimes, wthout meaning to…
I find life easier if I stay enclosed
Don’t go out…
Pass my time alone…
Or with family…
But mostly alone.
No one stares or whispers…
There’s no looks of pity…
No glance of disgust…
Or moment of judgment…
Arrogance doesn’t reign…
I am free just to be.

Sometimes, without meaning to…
I get lost in my world of pain…
My eyes see torrents of rain…
Or the raging winds…
And my life capsized…
Who I am lost at sea.
Though I determine to battle…
Praying God pulls me through…
‘Tis my burden each morning…
And that of my family…
Who would never admit…
What I cost them.

Sometimes, without meaning to…
The results are too much…
No solution seem sane…
The simpler gets passed…
I wonder if I lost my mind…
Along with my leg.
And the pathway laid out…
Seems incredibly cruel…
Terribly long and wild…
Awfully as if meant…
To torment me…
Though I know it can’t be.

Sometimes, without meaning to…
I forget to be thankful…
That I woke up breathing. ..
That I still have my mind…
My heart can still feel…
And God isn’t finished
With me just yet.
So I go to the rock…
I remember He is Abba…
No other God before Jehovah…
I call upon Jehovah-Raphael…
Elohim Ozer Li…
El Simchath Gili.

Sometimes without meaning to…
I find myself rejoicing…
My voice lifts in praise…
My heart is mended…
Eyes are opened…
And I live.
d.f.a.v. 5-27-14
In gratitude for today,
–Donna

A History Unfolds

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This is the tale of a simple “one horse town”
A place where the streets are clear
When the sun sinks slowly down
And folks took for granted their freedom so dear.

Their City existed before the Civil War,
Now subdivisions flourish where crops once rose,
And modern technology isn’t knocking at their door
When it comes to new businesses none get proposed.

Nothing much changed in the sleepy little place
Content as they were with their way of life,
Until the day a stranger shook up their pace,
He sowed seeds of discord, mistrust and strife.

A charming mask hid the true man,
Like the classic two-faced politician
He built castles for them on shifting sand
That fell with no cornerstone in position.

By the time the truest revelation came
It seemed all in town had bought the lies
He left them in ruin when he promised them fame
For his cause they joined was born to die.

Oh had they been aware the lion roaming the earth
Who lived to devour all caught in his scheme,
Be a town, a village, a home, a hearth
Any people would do if he could rip them apart at their seams.

Had the town peeled the blinders from their eyes
Recognized who he & they were in their hearts
Had their knees hit the floor & to the Lord cried,
Or picked up the banner for freedom to do their part.

Sleepy little towns or tremendous cities
Every city, village, & every hue of mankind,
This is the time & place shrug off self-pity
Will you stand now for God as the future unwinds?

We cannot ignore lessons from past situations,
Or forget that one act of courage can the tides change,
Don’t make decisions with false presumptions,
Do we still need to learn from humanities pains ?

This one little town in the middle of no where,
Can change the course of this country
If it dares to stand up and care,
We must be “one nation under God” to be the “land of the free”.
d.f.a.v. 5-26-14
–Donna

Latricia, Noble One

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She moved among us
Who, of, us really saw her?
She embodied more than her poverty
     or that she and her siblings mother died
     or odd sign painting father
     or even her smell
     it was everything and all.
In the hierarchy of high school popularity
She ranked near the bottom
With few friends but many needs
     like the need to be accepted
     like the need to be heard
     like the same need we all have
     to be loved for who we are
Her life and choices were limited then
Now death has claimed her early
And I’m reminded of unintended cruelty
Hurt dealt in ways we cannot explain
she has found peace at last
peace and rest she so deserved
among those who loved her earlier
this Angel unaware.
d.f.a.v. 5-2o-14
Rest in peace,
–Donna

Politics

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Instead of who you will fight that you think I am most tired of,
Tell me what you will fight because it’s worth fighting for.
Instead of the waste you’ll cut show me you will spend wisely.
Show me that you will begin to mend bridges instead of burning them.
Show me you are part of God’s family by your works produced by your faith in God.
Prove to me you understand that politics eats ignorance with a gleeful smile.
Give me proof today’s Saint isn’t tomorrow’s Evil to best be avoided.
Anyone can hop on the latest band wagon and beat the drum of discontent,
Can you take up the reigns of the wagon master and lead us over the mountain passage?
Trust and respect must be earned the hard way, not by the words and rhetoric you speak
But by those who are proud to be among the company you keep for your reputation has truth at it’s peak.
d.f.a.v. 5-20-14
Donna

The Christian Walk from a Woman’s Point of View or Getting Real

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    This Believer’s Life isn’t the cleanest, the surest, or the neatest. The decorating schemes for homes my Christian walk best matches Is the description of “lived in” look.

    See, that’s just it. My walk with God is where I live. I don’t have it divided into neat compartments, labeled boxes or a place for everything. What I do have is spill overs, boxes laying around waiting to be filled up or unpacked completely and if I had a place for everything most likely I couldn’t reach it from my wheelchair. Its messy folks.

    Daily my wickedness as a member of the human race shows. I know there is nothing I could not be motivated to do, good or evil, if presented with the right motivator in place. That doesn’t make me proud. Frankly, that makes me sick. But I won’t lie to God, myself or you and state anything different.

    Sometimes my walk with God resembles a crime scene investigation complete with a chalk outline of a body. I mess up. I get angry. I thirst for revenge. I act as if because I’ve convinced myself that I’ve learned to let the pain of yesterday go that makes it so. That’s not true either.

    Sometimes it looks like a playroom with all the attractions and distractions a parent can have there to keep their child entertained and quiet. And I sit there, a grown adult woman, playing with toys while the work of every Christian goes undone.

    Sometimes the pain associated with life really gets to me. It robs me of energy, appropriate or “nice” responses to everyday questions or requests from people in my life.

    I’m not one of those people who can always take the high road. I don’t always have the energy to put my best foot forward all the time. Heck, some days I don’t have the energy to put my shoes on! My prayers are not always answered in the way I want God to answer them. I get frustrated with God and myself. I get mad at Him and myself too.

    My world is filled with sharp and hard edges. It has uneven surfaces and unseen booby traps. It has physical and emotional pain from a physical disability. It is a messy, hodge-podge life at its best.

    Yes, at its best. For it is in the lives of complexingly simple women and men like me that God works. Maybe my dream of being a published Christian novelist will never come to be. My art work will never win a prize. My daughter will not have every electronic gadget or piece of clothing she wants. My husband will rarely find a healthy, hot supper waiting on the table when he pulls into the driveway from work. Already forced to give up the old dreams of a successful non-profit administrative staff career, photographer, traveler, skydiving, missionary woman have evaporated from my life despite my best efforts to hold onto them. Now none of my new dreams may come true either.

    Yes, I am a Believer in the One True and Living God. I believe He is Father, Son and Holy Ghost in one and three. I believe He hears and answers direct prayers. I have felt His arms and I have heard His heartbeat. There are not many avenues to Heaven, only one individualized journey for me, and every one of you, that starts and ends through Jesus. No other god can get you entrance. No good work you do. No matter how many high roads you take. No matter how many righteous appearing decisions you make. None of that will get you into Heaven. Only a real, personal, intimate relationship with Jesus gets you into Heaven.

    So, my life is messy. This spills into that, the pinto beans get mixed in with the Navy beans sometimes, I “rob Peter to pay Paul” and some days I let evil win a battle when he uses a barely or still unhealed wound as a point to twist the knife in a little more. Just when I think the past is behind me and can’t hurt me anymore, wham, I’m doubled over from pain and forgiveness I have to endure and do all over again.

    Does this make me weak? Okay.

    Does this make me in effective? Sadly, maybe so.

    Does this steal my faith from me? No.

    Is this how my life will always be? Probably. I believe I am going to feel the twists and pulls of life until I reach Heaven.

    Is this a true portrait of the faith of a woman? Well, it’s mine.

    Will f.v.b.f. continue after the end of June? Haven’t decided yet.

This beginning of this title is the purpose of this blog. I’ll be the first to admit lately, poetry seems to be the reason I have for writing here. I do enjoy writing poetry, trying to relay deeper messages through verse rather than “editorial” or “educational” pieces is a challenge. But I also discovered the poetry brings my site more traffic.

In thinking back to why I thought expressing the challenges and special joys of being female and a Christian in these earlier years of this century I made a discovery. I was anxious to peek into male/female gender battles that continue in churches today. The root of the beliefs and traditions. (Have you read my Letters to Paul series? Check the archives.) I know the stories are out there. Seems I’m not reaching that audience though.

I’ve always been determined to be honest with the readers. The annual anniversary of f.v.b.f. (faith view by Faye) arrives next month and I have to decide whether or not to continue blogging here.

Maybe this piece will help me with that decision.

–Donna

One Good Day

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One day
One good day
Something to hold onto
Thank you El Shaddai!
Glorify
Glorify your name
Because You show mercy
Thank you Elohe Chaseddi!
Praise
Praises to You
You are the real deal
Thank You El Hayyay!
One day
One good day
An island of paradise
Thank You Elohel Ma’Rizzo!
Tonight
Tonight I sleep
Ready to face what comes
Thank you El Simchath Gili!
One day
One good day
Gives me hope for another
Thank you Jehovah El Elohim!
               d.f.a.v. 5-14-14

Gratefully,
–Donna

El Shaddai:  Mighty Sufficient One, The God of the Mountains, or God Almighty

Elohe Chaseddi: The God of My Mercy

El Hayyay: God of My Life

Elohim Ma’Rizzo:  God of my Strength

El Simchath Gili: God My Exceeding Joy
Jehovah El Elohim:  The Lord God of God’s, the Lord, mighty. Powerful, strong one overall

Let’s Walk Another Mile

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The day is warm and sunny
But your heart is sad and blue
The burdens you are carrying
Are weighing heavily on you.
It sure feels like you’ll never win
Life pounds you right and left
You cling to God and His hope
That allows you to push yourself,
Let us walk another mile or two
God will walk steadily beside
When we grow weak and tired
He’ll carry us to the other side.
Let us walk another mile or two
Before we think of giving in
For those miles may be the difference
Of how this ends my friend.
               d.f.a.v. 5-14-14
Don’t give up!
Donna

Forgiven, I Must Forgive

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Jehovah, Lord God Almighty:

 

Woke up this morning to find

Waiting in my living room

A man whose presence was a shock

Someone I know to not be kind.

 

He looked so healthy and young

Last I saw him he was old and weak

What brings this man here today?

All I had he has from me wrung.

 

We sat in silence and neither smiled

He looked troubled and unhappy

I didn’t know what to say

He spoke saying “It’s been a while.”

 

“I wanted to come and apologize

For all the things I’ve done to you.

It’s my fault, I know, you’re in that chair

A fact I no longer can deny.

 

You trusted me from day one

And I let you down repeatedly

You wanted to believe in me

But couldn’t with all I’ve done.”

 

He paused then and bowed his head

What did he expect from me?

Forgiveness, love, gratitude or more?

What if it was words never read?

 

The words of Jesus rang in my mind

“And forgive us our debts

As we forgive our debtors…”

The push from Jesus was so kind.

 

This is where faith and life have met.

Please Dear God, the I Am

Lend me your strength to forgive

Help me even to forget

 

“It’s hard to say I forgive you,

For yes it’s true I bear the cost

Of your sins and consequences

But with God it is what I will do.

 

In His grace and mercy He’s shown

How I can forgive you for the stripes

For the betrayal, the broken trust

For every time you beat me down.”

 

He nodded his head and made to leave

I wondered then if he’d be back

But somehow I knew he wouldn’t be

He was now free indeed I believe.

 

Amen.

        d.f.a.v. 5/13/14

Forgiven I must forgive,

–Donna

 

No Better Way

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What better way to live
Than to live for God alone?
To spend our days in spreading
The music of God’s song?

Is there a greater witness
To the walk you have with Him
Than to walk your walk with integrity
In a world where evil seems to win?

How can the story be more real
Than when told through imperfect lives
For it is in our weakened state
God’s greatest gifts we can’t deny.

How can there be a better way
To truly begin of God to know
Than to say, “Here am I use me”
Through me let Your glory show.
          d.f.a.v. 5-12-14

May He find me faithful,
-Donna