Cottage by the Sea 1:21 a.m.


Abba Father,
Woke up in this hidden room
Why am I here? Makes no sense.
Yet here I am, hurting physically
Too tired, too weary now.
Why I’m here makes no difference.
Does it?

Pain must have confused me.
Is that him I see? In my private place.
Seeks not my shelf items, insanely costly.
Forgiven already, traces of memory
Holding the key and box grief on his face.
Why Abba?

Reaching for his box I don’t want to touch.
Over now right?  Leave the past alone.
Treasure this isn’t, nightmare it was.
Why bring me here, something unfaced?
Thought all of that was truly gone.
I’m freed.

Amazed at his kindness and compassion,
Why this change?  He feels shame.
Through his eyes I see, comprehend.
He is broken too, as I have been.
His anger passed from another’s name.
And now?

Key and box are in my hand.
Why remember?  Now he can’t forget.
Let it go Dad, let Jesus take this.
Some signal Lord, that he gets it.
His eternal home has long been set.
Will I stay?

Box is opened hinges squeal open.
See all this?  It is between You two.
No sugarcoating, no denial.
Truth is freeing, forgiveness necessary.
His need rests only in the heart of You.
I’ve forgiven.

Must let him know he’s forgiven though.
Box is emptied?  Go in peace Dad.
Forgive yourself, forgive your tormentors.
Forget my legs,  forget the beatings.
Clinging to this isn’t good it’s bad
You’re forgiven.

The room is comforting now.
Though the pain? Always unyielding.
This side it is always mine, our consequences.
Fathers sins, generational sins visible.
This legacy dies with me.
This pain ending.
          d.f.a.v. 4-3-14


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