Or Why Turning 50 was a Big Deal to Me
My answer, “The last decade of my life”
In 2004 between the months of January and June I was in the hospital five times and each time doctors were giving little hope I’d live. God spared me.
January 2005 I’m back again and I’ve spent a week at least in a hospital every year but three since then. Every time God sparing me in ways only He could arrange. Even blood clots that should have killed me passing through my heart didn’t and while modern medicine couldn’t explain it, I could. G-O-D.
Even when the choice was my leg or my life next time there was a blood clot or a raging infection, and there would always be a next time. God worked in His way and His time.
I am well aware I have been living the last ten years on “borrowed” time. Seldom does a day pass I don’t remember. Now, at 50 another truth emerges in my mind, my mother died from a blood clot to her heart at the age of 54. Never has 54 seemed so young as it does now.
Do I think I am dying? No more than you.
Life is fragile, the veil between this life and eternity is thin and easily torn. Yet, I admit God has held that line for me numerous times already. But I have no inside track on knowing my appointed day and time, no more than you. My life is no more valuable than anyone else’s.
Personally I think we should celebrate more often. Celebrate this life, even with it’s flaws. Celebrate our families even with our grumpy, scary and no-one-can stand them relatives.
Celebrate our smallest victories while learning from every defeat. Celebrate strange diseases that rob our bodies of good health but not our souls of eternity. Celebrate turning 50 and just beginning to understand God isn’t finished with me quite yet.
So, yes this year, I wanted a party. I needed the opportunity to say “thank you”. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving my family. Thank you for repairing our old place, helping us move into a new one and all your sweat equity you’ve poured into us.
Thank you for caring for our daughter so Chris could care for me. Thank you for your cards reminding me you were praying. Thank you, thank you for your prayers.
Thank you for strawberry cheesecake when I had no appetite. Thank you for weeks of meals while I recovered.
Thank you for seeing someone in me I seldom see in myself… a woman of strength, courage, resiliency, peace, talent…most of all Jesus. For really He is the hero of the last 50 years of my life.
All the good you attribute to me is Him. For that I am most grateful.
Thanks for coming to my party, into my life, hanging in and hanging on.
Tomorrow I am 50 years and 1 day old, I think I will celebrate.