I Am Not These Men

I’m blessed with two friends that write beautiful blogs.

One has such an eloquent and simple way of bringing the scripture into everyday situations that I want to write just like him. He touches people lives with God’s Word through his words on a daily basis. His name is Dusty. He writes Devoted Conversations.

The other I personally think of as the Nicholas Sparks of Christian writing for he has the ability to draw his readers into the situations and you feel as if it is happening to you. Or at the very least you are an eye witness to the events unfolding. I want to write just like him. His name is Duane and he writes Scribing the Journey.

Problem is I can’t write like either man for I’m neither of them.

The other problem is that there are times I want to be both of them. I want both of these men’s respect as a blogger/writer. I want both of these men’s talent. These realizations have had me disappointed in myself the past few days.

I’m not devoting my writing skills to either of these other bloggers, am I?

It’s not their interpretation of life as a Believer I am sharing, is it?

It’s not their readers I’m speaking to, is it?

I’m not jealous, am I?

God Himself can bear witness to the fact that I pray often for Him to help me write what it is He wants me to write. Whether it’s blogging or working on my novel or spilling out poetry I want it to honor God. I come to Him and I ask Him to help me keep it real, to help me pull back the curtains on my own heart and say with all honesty, “Here, this is what life as a Believer, who is a woman such as I, is like.”

So why have I been wanting to blog like Dusty? Or Duane?

Because I admire their writing abilities. I know Dusty well enough to know he lives his life as a devoted Believer with integrity. I know Duane to be the same. I am blessed to count them both as Christian brothers and friends.

But I can’t be them.

I can’t write like them.

God doesn’t give me their writing assignments.

I am me, warts, pimples and all. I don’t always get my life as a Believer right. I struggle to understand Scripture written thousands of years ago and apply it to modern day circumstances. I often write through a haze of depression and physical pain. I am not a man. The most formal education I have in regards to seminary is one New Testament class and a few other “electives” taught in a satellite class nearly twenty years ago. But, I really am okay with who I am.

This is MY faith walk. Not Dusty’s. Not Duane’s. Not yours. It is between me and God.

So, whether I make the impact on people’s lives that Dusty or Duane do, does it matter? Not to me if it doesn’t matter to God. It can’t matter to God or else He’d be giving me their assignments. Deep sigh, deep breath, exhale, relax and pray.

Your walk with God isn’t my walk either. It’s yours. Uniquely yours. No one can do it for you. No one cannot do it for you either. God is as close to you as you will allow Him to be. He loves you, warts, pimples, scars, fears, brokenness, sins and all.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 (emphasis mine)

May we all find the Way to the Father God in the way He assigns to each of us uniquely.

When Thomas asked, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except thought me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” John 14: 6-7

One way, one truth, one life, one gate. It’s our faith journey of passing through Him that is unique and solely our own. What a wonderful faith walk it is!


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