Saying “I love you” comes past my lips more often
And saying “thank you” when you do something for me is easily said too.
But do I say “thank you” for the really important things?
Like loving me when I’ve felt inadequate or angry?
Forgiving me when I’ve wanted my own way against your better judgment?
Do I remind you how grateful I am you are part of my life?
Or even more, how grateful I am you choose to love me?
You so often see the “not so pretty” side of me
The woman who would give up if not for your cheering
Who would hide away if not for your probing?
Have I ever said thank you for these gifts you give me?
Have I said it when you’ve asked, “Why are you crying?”
Or “we have to talk about us”
Or “when are you going to stop holding yourself back”?
I’ve long believed love often comes down to a choice
The choice to keep working at it or to cut loose;
The choice to put aside your own need to satisfy your partner’s;
The choice to act loving even if you aren’t feeling very loving at that time.
It’s not about chemistry, romance and rose petals
But about paying the power bill and eating popcorn for a week
Or holding hands when the doctor’s news isn’t too good.
So, because I know I fail to tell you often enough
And this is as public as I can get
I want to tell you now, that I thank you with all I have within me
For loving me, for encouraging me, for taking a chance with and on me
For forgiving me when I lash out in my own hurt and hurt you
For seeing that my panic comes from insecurity
But that my love for you comes from the center of my heart, soul & God.
I love you most.