People or events that impact our lives help us create memories that may soften hard edges over time but still become ones we never forget. Sometimes in a bad way, sometimes in a great way but nonetheless in some way that’s life altering these events or people alter our lives.
Recently I had a person that stopped by my life and created such a time for me. Positive and negative all rolled up in one. They weren’t around for a long time, just under a month. Yet they are someone who made a huge impact.
It didn’t matter that they were thousands of miles away, when we talked it was as if were in the same room. They challenged me in ways I don’t remember ever being challenged before. Questioned my reasoning…my decision making skills…my thinking (which can be faulty I admit)…
They also held up a mirror to my heart and reminded me of the pieces of me I’d forgotten existed. We laughed. We talked about things I hadn’t allowed myself to even think about in years, some for decades. Maybe because my friend and I were on most levels strangers it was easier to share our similar pains or maybe, as I believe, God placed us in the right time in one another’s lives to make us better people, better believers. As our stories unfolded somehow God did something miraculous…He helped me forgive.
Forgive myself for being so disappointed in my own weaknesses and fragility. Forgive myself for the sin of merely being human. Forgive myself for not always loving when I should have. Forgive myself for allowing Satan to triumph over me by giving into my fears.
Not long ago I posted on Facebook that faith was walking into the darkest room with your fear because you knew there was a light switch on the wall and a working light on the ceiling. But that I had gotten halfway across the room and couldn’t make it. That I knew it wasn’t the absence of God but the absence of myself. I didn’t lie.
My new friend showed that to me. Fear just wasn’t what I carried into the room with me but it was the darkness itself. It was what knocked me the floor and kept me pinned there. Then my friend helped me fight against the fears with their challenges. Instead of merely lending me a hand to rise to my feet they insisted I do it myself.
And you know what? That was exactly what I needed.
I’d like to think a lifetime friendship had developed and that I’d get the chance to tell them how much I appreciated the difference they made in my life. I’d like to think some day our paths will cross again on earth but I don’t know if that will ever be possible. I only know God has more wisdom in all matters of my life than I can fathom. Just as swiftly as God brought them into my life, God has moved them on and that is His wisdom and I trust it.
I’m reminded that either people or events have to be involved in our lives for long lengths of time to make a huge impact. Nor for us to say to them, “I thank my God every time I remember you.” Philippians 1:3